The Husband List


Husband List

You need a husband list.

Why? Because life will hand you anything if you let it. This is especially true for marriage. So you need a list.

Here’s my husband list, qualities which are important to me in a mate. Thankfully, my man meets all the criteria ;-)

He shares the same religious faith. I have friends in interfaith marriages and married friends who are don’t ascribe to any religious beliefs, but for me, having the same faith with my spouse is important. I need to talk freely with my spouse on faith issues, and so I don’t want to feel as if I am at odds with my spouse in this respect. Faith is a major part of who I am, and I want to be on a level playing field with my man.

He sees me. A husband shouldn’t hold limiting stereotypes about me. This can only limit and stifle. For example, I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who thinks that, because I am a woman, I should focus solely on raising children while completely disregarding my other interests. I believe in the importance of motherhood, but I am not “just a housewife” (as people have said to me). I have other interests that matter to me.

He’s responsible. Carrying a man can be burdensome. Period. Healthy boundaries in a marriage are so important to me. Yes, we are to help our husbands, but not to our personal damage/detriment. I’ve seen marriages with poor boundaries, and it hasn’t been pretty. A good husband will respect you as an individual not drain your spirit.

He provides good intellectual conversation. I enjoy debating with my husband on a lot on different issues in the world. He provides me with a different perspective which I may not have considered and vice versa. He offers me reasoned arguments on different issues, and I appreciate that.

He’s wise. Man, this one is SO important. There have been many instances when I could have made some really foolish choices at crucial points in my life. I feel blessed that the Lord has given me a spouse who has uncanny insight into my situations.

He’s trustworthy. I don’t want to second guess my spouse and wonder whether his word is true or not. I want the security in knowing that if my man said he’d deliver on his promise, that he’ll make it happen. He’s a man of his word.

He’s good looking. Yes, this is important to me, but personality plays a large role in attractiveness. If someone looked like Bruno Mars, but he was a jerk well…I’d pass.

That’s my list. What about you? What qualities do you find attractive in a/your husband?

Outsourcing Thanksgiving Dinner

This year I am outsourcing Thanksgiving dinner to Cracker Barrel. They will be taking care of all the heavy duty work. I am not ashamed to admit it either. I’ll be adding in some extra side dishes, but you will not see me slaving in the kitchen with a twenty pound turkey. I’ve made a lot of changes in my life this year, shifted my priorities and focus. As a result, I have to just outsource some things. Thanksgiving dinner is one of them.

But I’ll make some easy for me side dishes to add to the Cracker Barrel spread. Here’s what I plan to make:

Baked Macaroni and Cheese

Baked Macaroni and Cheese

Collard Greens

Collard Greens

Candied Yams

Candied Yams

Buttered Corn

Buttered Corn

I’m salivating just thinking about it.

I can’t wait for my Cracker Barrel spread however. This year, I’ve been learning to have peace with the fact that I can’t do everything, but I can do a few things REALLY well. So, I’ve been trying to refocus and figure out what are those few things that I can do well.

I decided basting turkeys wasn’t one of them. Sometimes, Super Woman just has to draw the line.

What about you? Have you been trying to do too much? What will you do to pull back this holiday season?



Real Romance by novelist Karin Beery

A guest post by Karin Beery

November 26 – one of the most romantic days of the year. Well, for me anyway. Nine years ago today I married a tall, handsome, hairy man. A chance meeting at a coffee shop eight months earlier led us down the aisle on a blizzardy Thanksgiving weekend. I didn’t plan a fairytale wedding, nor had I dreamed of the occasion since childhood. Thanks to books and movies, however, I did have some preconceived ideas about marriage and the happily-ever-after. Boy, were they wrong.

Did you know that boys and girls define “clean” differently? I don’t think my husband has ever looked at his pile of clothes by the front door and thought, “Maybe I should put those in the hamper.” Then again, I’ve never cared much what my windows look like. Thanks to him my windows are washed regularly.

You know those husbands that spend the weekend watching football (or baseball or hockey)? Well, I don’t. My husband is more interested in mold spores than football scores. His favorite football game is the Super Bowl because when it’s over he doesn’t have to watch any more games for six months. For me? It’s the start of the countdown until next season.

And then there are the compromises. I love food, and there are millions of recipes I still need to try. The hubs would eat tacos, spaghetti, and chili every week. Boring. I can agree to one of those a week, though (even after nine years).

And this whole anniversary thing. Technically it’s November 26. That’s when we were married. Technically, however, we were also married the Saturday after Thanksgiving. That’s easier for my husband to remember. As long as he remembers to say something nice on that day, we’re good.

Married life is nothing like the movies and novels suggested, and I couldn’t be happier. My honey sees dirt in places that I don’t notice, so he cleans the areas that matter to him and I clean the places that matter to me. He lets me have the remote control during all of the live sporting events because he knows he can watch his shows as reruns. Menu planning is easy because I know what he likes (and he’s actually willing to try anything). There’s never any stress about celebrating our anniversary since we can pick from two days each year.

Fictional relationship are just that – fictional – but that doesn’t mean the real thing is bad. I don’t have a generic, Hollywood romance. My husband and I love each other in ways that minister to our specific desires and personalities. I’ll take that over flowers and chocolates any day.

About Karin

Karin Beery

A freelance writer/editor/coach, wife, care-giver, and homemaker, Karin Beery has had more than 450 articles published in various periodicals, in addition to writing her novels. She is an active member of the American Christian Fiction Writers Association, Evangelical Press Association, and Christian Proofreaders and Editors Network. Karin is represented by Steven Hutson of Word Wise Media. You can connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, or at her website,

We Can All Learn Something from Katie Brandt by H.L. Wegley

A guest post by H.L. Wegley

It is much harder to defend one’s worldview against attacks than it is to sit back and take pot shots at someone else’s beliefs. This is probably why Christians tend to have deep, worldview discussions more within the safe walls of our fortresses, with other Christians, rather than out in the world, in the marketplace of ideas. It’s intimidating to think about preparing to give a reason for our faith to anyone who asks (1 Peter 3:15). But, should it be, really?

In my story, Triple Threat, Katie Brandt is strongly drawn to a young man, Joshua West, who claims to be an agnostic. When the subject of her faith comes up, Josh throws questions at her, tons of questions throughout the book, often in an argumentative manner. In fact, by the end of the story, he covers all of the major objections to Christianity that non-believers raise. Katie answers Josh’s questions, always trying to steer him to the real underlying issue, the thing that Josh needs most to understand.

Though Katie has an IQ of over 180, we can all do what she does, because she actually handles only 5 basic issues: the nature of truth, the problem of evil, the role and result of God’s love, human depravity thus the need for forgiveness, the necessity for an infinite being (God) to reach out to finite creatures or they can never know God. Along the way, Katie touches upon a few other issues, such as the reliability of the scriptures. She doesn’t use the abstract words I alluded to, such as human depravity. Rather, Katie accomplishes this in conversational English in the dialogue of Triple Threat.

The Word of God is powerful, but there are people who will disregard everything we say if that’s where we start. The Apostle Paul, in Acts 17, when he met with the Greek philosophers in the Areopagus, started with their culture and writings, the common ground, then bridged from the Greek philosophers’ culture to the gospel by showing how God’s Word answered questions raised by their own beliefs. Finding the common ground is something missionaries must do every time the gospel is taken to a new people group, and it’s what Katie did with Josh.

Triple Threat is a fun read. It’s informative, but always in an entertaining way. And we can all learn from Katie Brandt, the remarkable young woman who is not afraid to defend her faith in the spirit of 1 Peter 3:15 – Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect… (NIV)

About Triple Threat

Triple Threat

Brilliant, beautiful, 21-year-old Katie Brandt, PhD candidate and woman of faith, detects a deadly conspiracy. Suspecting it’s only the tip of an iceberg, she dives in, pulling fellow grad student, Joshua West, with her into a high-risk investigation of a cyber-terrorist plot. Damaged by the foster-care system, Katie takes huge risks to win acceptance and love. But when she risks Josh’s life, an agnostic, who isn’t prepared to die, she fears her mistake might have eternal consequences for Josh, a mistake that could break Katie’s heart, a heart rapidly falling for Josh.

Will Katie and Josh survive the investigation? If they do, can they ever span the chasm of divergent worldviews that separates them? How can they awaken a dozing nation to a three-pronged danger that threatens its very existence?

Triple Threat, an adventure that spans the Pacific Northwest from the shores of the Olympic Peninsula to the mountains of Whistler, BC, a conspiracy you might read in tomorrow’s paper, but pray you never will.

You can buy Triple Threat at:



Barnes & Noble:

Pelican Book Group:

About H.L. Wegley

HL Wegley

H.L. Wegley served in the USAF as an Intelligence Analyst and a Weather Officer. In civilian life he performed research in atmospheric physics. After earning an MS in Computer Science, he worked 20+ years in systems development at Boeing before retiring near Seattle, where he and his wife of 48 years enjoy small-group ministry, grandchildren, hiking on the Olympic Peninsula, snorkeling Maui whenever possible, and where he writes inspirational thrillers and romantic suspense novels. He has a contracted 4-book, Christian-thriller-series with Pelican Book Group. He is currently finishing his 8th novel.

You can find him at:

His Web Site:




Who Should Pay on a Date?

Who should pay on a date?

When I used to date, I instituted a hard and fast rule: I would not pay a dime.  I instituted this rule because I learned it the hard way. Call me old fashioned, but after experiencing the emotional roller coaster of a failed relationship, I refused to pay a penny for all future dates.

Who Should Pay on a Date?

In my opinion, a guy will show (or not show) his  interest in a gal by paying (or not paying) on a date. Prior to instituting my rule, I paid for myself (and for the guy I dated…ugh!), and it turned out to be a disaster. For the rest of the time that I was in this broken relationship, I felt this crazy need to cover for him whenever we were out together. That got old really fast, and I ended up dumping him.

Later on, when I went on my first date with my now husband, I decided not to pay. I didn’t tell him this, of course, I simply waited to see if he would fork over the cash.

He did. And he did it again on the second, and the third, and the fourth dates…and the rest is history.

To me, one of the fun parts of romance is the thrill of the chase. I like to be pursued. (I told you I’m old fashioned.) When I was dating my husband, I enjoyed those moments when he called me. Or when he asked me out on a date. Or when he reached over and held my hand. It made me feel all princess-ey and special like.

Who Should Pay on the First Date

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I fell for the first guy that expressed interest in me. No, no, no! After my prior relationship fail, I upped my standards a tad (Okay, I upped my standards a whole lot, and that’s a topic for another blog post). If the right guy wasn’t around who met these newfound standards, I kept on living till he showed up. No biggie.

But when Mr. Husband Material did show up…

…I made sure I didn’t pay on the first date or on any other subsequent date for that matter.

What about you? Do you think a woman should pay if she’s on a date? Why or why not?