3 Elements of A Good Kiss

Elements of a Good Kiss

A kiss (or lack thereof) communicates volumes in a marriage. Whether it’s that kiss goodbye as you head out the door in the morning or a kiss given during your regular date night (You are going on regular dates, right? If not, read this post for ideas.), kissing is like the temperature gauge in a relationship.

It’s easy to not take the time to nurture our marriages, especially when you have a busy life with children and activities and multiples demands on your time. So…what to do if your marriage is suffering from a kissing drought?

Kiss! (Simple isn’t it?) If you haven’t kissed your spouse in a while, set a reasonable goal for yourself, something like: I’ll kiss my husband when he’s on his way out the door or: I’ll greet him at the end of the day with a kiss. Keep a visual reminder handy so that you can remember to kiss. Personally, I’m a checklist person, so jotting it down on paper helps me. Yes, I know that sounds very unromantic, but if I didn’t jot it down, I could forget.

3 Elements of a Good Kiss

When you plant a kiss on your husband, make sure all your bases are covered. There are three foundational things to a good kiss that every person should keep in mind: the lips, the breath and the tongue. I’ll break it down for you:

Breath

No stinky breath, please. Brushing and flossing twice a day keeps the stinky breath away. You may think being married gives you a perfect excuse to have halitosis because, he’ll love you anyway, but DON’T DO IT. That is gross.

And no heavy breathing, either. Personally, heavy breathing reminds me of stalkers. Maybe it’s from watching too many horror and thriller movies growing up. Heavy breathing is not on the same level as stinky breath, but it does give me a creepy feeling, so keep your inhales and exhales relaxed and normal, please.

Lips

The dry, cracked bleeding lips have got to go. Keeping yourself well hydrated through the day will prevent this as well as a healthy slather of lip gloss or chap stick. Some women prefer lipstick, others don’t so I’ll leave that up to you. Whatever you do, keep those lips soft and kissable!

There are two types of ways to kiss: open mouthed and closed mouthed. I write romance and whenever I get to a part of the story where the hero and heroine kiss, the type of kiss I write depends on the emotions of the story moment. If there has been a lot of emotional connection prior to the kiss in the story, then typically I write an open mouthed kiss. If there has been tension and stress between the hero and heroine or if they are preoccupied with another, unrelated activity (like cooking), I’d write a tight lipped, forced kiss.

However, in real life, make sure you are in a right place emotionally when kissing your spouse.

Tongue

To French kiss or not French, that is the question.

Whatever you decide, sloppy, saliva laden tongues are icky. If you French kiss, keep it as clean as possible. Also, forceful French kissing, like heavy breathing, is stalker-like. Make sure that any use of the tongue is natural to the moment and not contrived or forced. (Wow, I’m sounding like a user manual, lol.)

There you have it, three elements of a good kiss. What have been your hindrances to kissing? What could you do about it?

 

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Free Printable Love Calendar, week of January 18, 2015

Click here to print this week’s Love Calendar for the week of Sunday, January 18th. Hope you have a great week!

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5 Ways to Maintain a Great Marriage After Baby

Marriage After Baby

Marriage can be hard, especially when you toss a baby in the mix.

I remember my married pre-baby days well. We used to sleep in on the weekends, have long talks in the evenings, and going out to eat on a whim. Things changed after our first one came along. I had read the Babywise book and became gung-ho about getting my newborn on a regular feeding and sleeping schedule. As a result, my whole life became scheduled. I needed a routine to maintain my sanity, but I lost our let’s-go-out-on-and-do-something-on-a-whim aspect of our relationship.

So I decided to bring it back (some) aspects of surprise in my marriage (within “mama-with-a-baby” reason, of course!) Here are five way you can thrive in your marriage after a baby:

  1. Know it’s only for a season. Babies grow up, get on sleep schedules (we hope!), and learn to tie their shoes. But really, the newborn/baby stage will come to an end. If you keep this in mind, it will give you some perspective.
  2. Order pizza. That’s right. Don’t feel like you have to be superwoman. Having pizza on the couch after the children are asleep is a great time to have some bonding time.
  3. Get wild and wear clean pajamas to bed. Basically, look presentable! This is my struggle and I talked about it in this post. Maintaining good appearances keeps things fun
  4.  If you have to outsource something to have some couple time, do it. Hire a babysitter. Get on a meal exchange with some friends. Or have someone come in and clean your house if you can afford it. Delegating some activities will free up your time for maintaining your marriage and your sanity!
  5. If you need to talk it out with a counselor, do that too. (Or attend a marriage retreat!) A lot of times  negative patterns arise in our relationships during times of stress and change, and having a baby is a big change! Spending time with a trained professional can help you and your spouse get through that tough baby stage.

{This post is part of the Thrifty Thursday Link Up!}

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Snow, a guest post by novelist Julie Arduini

Novelist Julie Arduini talks marriage in today’s post!

It’s funny the things God uses to teach me about Him and my life. I’m a visual learner so imagine my surprise when my latest a-ha moment was from snow.

I live in Ohio where snow can fall anywhere from late October to April. When the forecasters start talking about the potential for fluffy white flakes, no matter how many years I’ve seen it, there seems to be an anticipation. A wonder as the snow falls for the first time to catch it on eyelids, make snow angels, or take a walk in the evening.

Even if Thanksgiving is weeks away, something about that first snow of the season makes Christmas music in the stores enjoyable, not annoying. Light displays pop up around the neighborhood and I want to drive around and take it all in.

That first snow is beautiful. Pure. Romantic.

Fast forward to January, February. Or in the case of Winter 2013-14, March and a little bit of April. The mere mention of a word that starts with “s” sends me cringing. A text alert telling me school is closed because of snow is frustrating. When the roads clear and I can finally get out and drive, romantic is the last thing I’m feeling towards the white stuff. It’s grimy and ugly. How can the same snow that had me running outside in childlike glee in December be the same thing that I don’t even want to look at in March?

And there it is.

Marriages sadly can become the same predicament. The same for our relationship with Christ. In both cases everything is new. There’s anticipation and joy even in the most mundane things. It’s hard to imagine ever being frustrated or bored. But week after week, year after year, and the feelings wane. What used to be exciting is a nuisance. A burden.

Don’t let your marriage and walk with the Lord turn stormy because your vision is clouded by what appears to be mundane. Pray for His vision to see the blessings in your life as He does. Choose oneness and unity when the little resentments threaten your peace.

And if the weather allows, take a romantic stroll in the snow. It won’t be the white stuff on the ground that makes it dreamy, but the one you take with you.

Julie Arduini

About Julie

Julie Arduini is an author with a passion to encourage readers to find freedom through surrender. Her first Adirondack contemporary romance, Entrusted, gives readers hope to surrender fear. A Walk Through the Valley will soon be available as an infertility devotional with 5 other authors. She blogs every other Wednesday at Christians Read and is a frequent contributor to Jasmine’s Place. To learn more about her writing and love of chocolate, visit http://juliearduini.com. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two children.

About Entrusted

Jenna Anderson, sassy city-girl, plows–literally–into Adirondack village, Speculator Falls with a busted GPS. She gets a warning from the sheriff but has ideas for the senior center to prove she belongs in town as their director. Town councilman Ben Regan is as broken as the flower box Jenna demolished. He’s grieving and wants to shut down the center before there’s too much change and heartbreak. They work on community projects and build a slow relationship, but the council needs to vote on the senior center’s future. Can Jenna show Ben both her and the center are worth trusting?

Entrusted FRONT Cover_edited

Free Printable Love Calendar, Week of Jan 11, 2015

Here is this week’s free printable Love Calendar. Print, post it, and spread some love and kindness in your life!

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