3 Elements of A Good Kiss

Elements of a Good Kiss

A kiss (or lack thereof) communicates volumes in a marriage. Whether it’s that kiss goodbye as you head out the door in the morning or a kiss given during your regular date night (You are going on regular dates, right? If not, read this post for ideas.), kissing is like the temperature gauge in a relationship.

It’s easy to not take the time to nurture our marriages, especially when you have a busy life with children and activities and multiples demands on your time. So…what to do if your marriage is suffering from a kissing drought?

Kiss! (Simple isn’t it?) If you haven’t kissed your spouse in a while, set a reasonable goal for yourself, something like: I’ll kiss my husband when he’s on his way out the door or: I’ll greet him at the end of the day with a kiss. Keep a visual reminder handy so that you can remember to kiss. Personally, I’m a checklist person, so jotting it down on paper helps me. Yes, I know that sounds very unromantic, but if I didn’t jot it down, I could forget.

3 Elements of a Good Kiss

When you plant a kiss on your husband, make sure all your bases are covered. There are three foundational things to a good kiss that every person should keep in mind: the lips, the breath and the tongue. I’ll break it down for you:

Breath

No stinky breath, please. Brushing and flossing twice a day keeps the stinky breath away. You may think being married gives you a perfect excuse to have halitosis because, he’ll love you anyway, but DON’T DO IT. That is gross.

And no heavy breathing, either. Personally, heavy breathing reminds me of stalkers. Maybe it’s from watching too many horror and thriller movies growing up. Heavy breathing is not on the same level as stinky breath, but it does give me a creepy feeling, so keep your inhales and exhales relaxed and normal, please.

Lips

The dry, cracked bleeding lips have got to go. Keeping yourself well hydrated through the day will prevent this as well as a healthy slather of lip gloss or chap stick. Some women prefer lipstick, others don’t so I’ll leave that up to you. Whatever you do, keep those lips soft and kissable!

There are two types of ways to kiss: open mouthed and closed mouthed. I write romance and whenever I get to a part of the story where the hero and heroine kiss, the type of kiss I write depends on the emotions of the story moment. If there has been a lot of emotional connection prior to the kiss in the story, then typically I write an open mouthed kiss. If there has been tension and stress between the hero and heroine or if they are preoccupied with another, unrelated activity (like cooking), I’d write a tight lipped, forced kiss.

However, in real life, make sure you are in a right place emotionally when kissing your spouse.

Tongue

To French kiss or not French, that is the question.

Whatever you decide, sloppy, saliva laden tongues are icky. If you French kiss, keep it as clean as possible. Also, forceful French kissing, like heavy breathing, is stalker-like. Make sure that any use of the tongue is natural to the moment and not contrived or forced. (Wow, I’m sounding like a user manual, lol.)

There you have it, three elements of a good kiss. What have been your hindrances to kissing? What could you do about it?

 

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5 Small Habits For Big Strides In Your Marriage

5 small habits for making big strides in your marriage

Let’s get one thing straight before I dive into this post:

I am not a Stepford wife.

I am more like a “catch me when you can, honey because I have a long to-do list, two small children, and 10 hours of daylight” kind of wife.

There, I said it. And that’s why I need to these 5 small habits for big strides in my marriage. I tend to forget about the person I sleep next to in bed every night. After another long day, we just kind of teeter out until another day begins. But for married people, our relationship to our spouse is our most important human relationship. So here they go:

5 Small Habits For Big Strides In Your Marriage

Habit #1 Set aside 10-15 minutes of couch time every evening. Spending 10-15 minutes to talk about your day helps you reconnect. Make sure this time is CHILD FREE. If you have children around, give them something to occupy their time during this period. Doing this will show them that the basis of the family is the marriage, not the children.

Habit #2 Ask your spouse if they need help with something. As busy moms, we often hit the ground running each day. It’s easy to forget that marriage is a partnership, and partners need to look out for one another.

Habit #3 Say “Thank you.” Our spouses may do a lot of things for us and the family, but because we’re used to it, we take it for granted. For example, my husband gets the kids ready in the morning before he leaves for work so I can have some uninterrupted writing time. (Yeah, I’m lucky. I know it.)  What has your spouse done lately that you haven’t thanked them for?

Habit #4 Schedule in Date Nights. Whether it’s once a week or once a month. Time spent together as a couple (Outside of the house and away from the children) is so important. Months have passed before my husband and I went out on a date, and it took a toll on our marriage. We were just getting through our days and pushing through the dailies of life. Once we scheduled date nights, things changed for the better.

Habit #5 Pay regular compliments. Last week, I got a new pair of high heeled shoes. I rarely wear high heels, but I wanted something different. I chose Aerosoles because they were a combo of cute and comfort. When I wore them for the first time, my husband said:

Husband: “You have a new pair of shoes.”

Me: “Yes. You noticed.”

Husband: “I notice everything about you.”

(Let’s just say I had a strong visceral reaction to his comment.)

Compliments work, people. So start complimenting your spouse.

There you have it.  The five habits. Have you tried any of these lately?

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Ten Date Night Ideas

date night ideas

Date nights have been few and far between at my house. My goal for 2015 is to go on a date night once a month. I even scheduled our first date night for this week. There are so many competing priorities in my busy life that I have to schedule them in. So I thought I’d share a few ideas for date nights that may interest you too! Here they go:

  1. Wander in a book store. This idea is kinda selfish, as I love books and I love bookstores, but hey, I can share the love with my love!
  2. Hang out at Starbucks. Caffeine and love, a perfect combination.
  3. Sit on a park bench and chit chat. This is completely free of any temptations to purchase anything (unlike the Starbucks and book store idea!)
  4. Rent a Redbox movie. Watch it after the kids are in bed for guaranteed alone time.
  5. Go to a real movie. An alternative to being in the same building as your children.
  6. Browse a local farmer’s market. A fun way to learn about local vendors in your community.
  7. Walk on the beach. Enjoy the sun and sand together!
  8. Go out for ice cream. I love this one. (For obvious reasons.)
  9. Take a walk around your neighborhood or at a nearby nature trail. Walking together leads to lots of talking, and both are good for you!
  10. See a local play, opera, or musical. This is a very good way to try something new if most of your days have been pretty routine.

There you have it! My date night ideas. What are yours? 

And if you haven’t downloaded my free printable Love Calendar for this week, don’t forget to grab one here!

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3 Chaos-Free Ways to Greet Your Man at Day’s End

 

chaospinit

I don’t want to give my man scraps, but after a long day of caring for the kiddos, my brain is fuzzed out. It can be tough to give it that ol’ Susie Homemaker try. At six o’clock in the evening, the kids have caught a second wind of energy, and I’m simply trying to hot dog it till we put them to bed.

Like I said in last week’s post, I am not a Stepford wife.

But I am a wife on a mission: a mission to keep my marriage intact during these tenuous small children years. So while my husband won’t see me donned in a perfectly pressed A-line dress and heels at five o’clock in the evening, I want to be showered and dressed when the sun sets.

Okay, I’ll set my goals a little higher (just a little). Here are 3 chaos free ways to meet your man at the end of the day:

Number one: Take a shower and get dressed in normal clothes.

I have to mention this again because it really has to be done before the end of the day. Moms who work outside the home have it made in this department. Their employer requires they don’t show up at the office in their jammies or sweats. The rest of us wandering SAHMs have to remember to do this. There have been times when I haven’t gotten dressed  until well into the afternoon (or evening!) On those days, I felt slightly off and disoriented. So do yourself (and your mailman) a favor and clean yourself up before Noon please. (Thanks!)

Number two: Shove all the toy clutter blocking the entrance in a closet.

Notice, I didn’t say put the toys in perfectly labeled Ikea bins. Just make sure the entryway is clear of all the kid junk. A clear entryway will be like rolling out the red carpet for him. (Not really, but close enough.) First impressions are everything. As for the rest of the house well…don’t worry about that.

Number three: Burn a scented candle (especially if you haven’t had time to make dinner).

I do this all the time. I have had a lot of dinner fails recently. Buy one of those lovely scented Glade candles from Walmart or Target and light it up, baby! The simulated scent of Pumpkin Pie or Vanilla or whatever will make him believe (albeit, briefly) that you actually baked something from scratch.

What about you? How do you prepare for your man’s arrival at the end of the day?

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Free Printable Love Calendar week of Feb 8, 2015

Click here for this week’s free printable Love Calendar! Have a blessed week :-)

free printable Love Calendar