A kiss (or lack thereof) communicates volumes in a marriage. Whether it’s that kiss goodbye as you head out the door in the morning or a kiss given during your regular date night (You are going on regular dates, right? If not, read this post for ideas.), kissing is like the temperature gauge in a relationship.
It’s easy to not take the time to nurture our marriages, especially when you have a busy life with children and activities and multiples demands on your time. So…what to do if your marriage is suffering from a kissing drought?
Kiss! (Simple isn’t it?) If you haven’t kissed your spouse in a while, set a reasonable goal for yourself, something like: I’ll kiss my husband when he’s on his way out the door or: I’ll greet him at the end of the day with a kiss. Keep a visual reminder handy so that you can remember to kiss. Personally, I’m a checklist person, so jotting it down on paper helps me. Yes, I know that sounds very unromantic, but if I didn’t jot it down, I could forget.
3 Elements of a Good Kiss
When you plant a kiss on your husband, make sure all your bases are covered. There are three foundational things to a good kiss that every person should keep in mind: the lips, the breath and the tongue. I’ll break it down for you:
No stinky breath, please. Brushing and flossing twice a day keeps the stinky breath away. You may think being married gives you a perfect excuse to have halitosis because, he’ll love you anyway, but DON’T DO IT. That is gross.
And no heavy breathing, either. Personally, heavy breathing reminds me of stalkers. Maybe it’s from watching too many horror and thriller movies growing up. Heavy breathing is not on the same level as stinky breath, but it does give me a creepy feeling, so keep your inhales and exhales relaxed and normal, please.
The dry, cracked bleeding lips have got to go. Keeping yourself well hydrated through the day will prevent this as well as a healthy slather of lip gloss or chap stick. Some women prefer lipstick, others don’t so I’ll leave that up to you. Whatever you do, keep those lips soft and kissable!
There are two types of ways to kiss: open mouthed and closed mouthed. I write romance and whenever I get to a part of the story where the hero and heroine kiss, the type of kiss I write depends on the emotions of the story moment. If there has been a lot of emotional connection prior to the kiss in the story, then typically I write an open mouthed kiss. If there has been tension and stress between the hero and heroine or if they are preoccupied with another, unrelated activity (like cooking), I’d write a tight lipped, forced kiss.
However, in real life, make sure you are in a right place emotionally when kissing your spouse.
To French kiss or not French, that is the question.
Whatever you decide, sloppy, saliva laden tongues are icky. If you French kiss, keep it as clean as possible. Also, forceful French kissing, like heavy breathing, is stalker-like. Make sure that any use of the tongue is natural to the moment and not contrived or forced. (Wow, I’m sounding like a user manual, lol.)
There you have it, three elements of a good kiss. What have been your hindrances to kissing? What could you do about it?